"Shake your booties boys and girls for all the BEAUTY IN THE WORLD"

Today I was held back by an interviewee for almost half an hour, during which we talked about pretty much everything from the company to children to what kids should major in college.  Of course the interview was for a sales position (how else could all the applicants have been so talkative?), but our conversation was lively and interesting in that we discussed some of the fundamentals of beauty, or at least aesthetics.

He made interesting points, about how when you think of aesthetics in Los Angeles, often you think of Beverly Hills (where we were at the moment) as the hub of vanity.  So when you, or your children (he is older than I), live here, you will either be molded by the dominant values of your environment, or you will be a victim of them. The question most bloggers raise is: how do we change the concept of beauty in our culture? But I think culture develops slow over time, it cannot be changed overnight, and telling beautiful people they are shallow is probably not the best way to introduce less-popular images as "acceptable".

For example, if you wanted to preach about how we should promote "plumpness" in our culture to diminish the number of girls and boys with eating disorders, the correct way is probably not to tell skinny people that they are too skinny. Why? Because now we are against skinny people and many skinny people are skinny because they are born so, not because they choose to be skinny. It's discrimination with the tables turned.

Instead, plump people should be featured as beautiful, without too much airbrushing, and then little by little celebrities might realize that if they gained some weight they would look a lot more youthful and "wholesome" (always pleasant to look at wholesome people). In fact, the interviewee was saying that as long as you are "good to look at" it doesn't matter if you are not the perfect size, and I think many men think this way. I think it's mostly women who are obsessed with being skinnier than some other woman, or am I wrong? Do men think this way too, towards other men? You know the thought, thank gawd my thighs are not as fat as hers, or her face might be prettier but I'm skinnier (or do you?)  So we ended up agreeing that beauty is being "good to look at", pleasant to look at, and proportionally wholesome. We agreed that skinny-like-starving-refugees is a bad look, while being plumper, in a proportional way, is totally okay. What do you think?

I mean our company comes into the picture when people are obese to the point where it is harmful to their health, and you would be surprised how many problems go away with a little weight loss...but other than health concerns the interviewee raised a few interesting points on how socially unacceptable obesity is, especially in LA.

As mentioned, LA is where Hollywood is, we have celebrities, wannabe celebrities, models, actors, etc. walking our streets looking fabulous. He said entire Southern California is concerned with aesthetics (more than in other places), and, well, did you watch OC? I watched like five episodes and all I remember are beautiful people, looking tanned and skinny, laying on the beach or surfing while seemingly having all the time in the world to party--sound familiar? California girls? California dreamin'? You think all of that is going to go away just by changing our minds? I don't think so. Even if 20% of Californians decided to relinquish certain trends, guess what? The rest of the world is going to expect them. The rest of the world is going to look at a Californian and be like, why aren't you blonde, skinny, and tanned? And yes, perhaps it is the media coverage that we blame, but you know what's funny about the media? They only broadcast what sells, so if surveys show that people like seeing beautiful skinny on people on screen, that's what they'll broadcast. Remember Rosanne's show? She was funny 20 years ago, wonder why she's not on anymore? Because our culture has shifted since then. Wait for the next wave people!

Or what do you think?

Could you survive a month wearing six items or less?

Many of you have perhaps heard of the "experiment" of wearing six items or less for a whole month. The idea is simple, but the motives differ from person to person, where one might participate to be eco-friendly and consume less, one as a statement against fashion, and the other just to save money.  I watched a few interviews on the subject, read a few blog entries on their website, and came to the conclusion that it is no different than being in the army.

Really. I mean what do you get to wear in the army? Camouflage pants, camouflage button down shirt, white crew neck t shirts, black boots, a jacket of some sort, and maybe a sweater if it's winter time...Isn't that about six items?

Of course the experiment has exceptions, like for undergarments, swim wear, work-out clothes, work uniforms, outer jackets (rain slicker, outdoor jacket), shoes and accessories. You can get multiples of the same item for laundry purposes, but different colors count as separate items.  One girl just wore a wardrobe of black and white (she already owned a lot of black anyhow) and accessorized for difference. It took her coworkers more than two weeks to figure out that she was doing the project. Huh.

I wonder if I did would people notice? Probably not, huh? I love uniforms. I used to think I hated them, because I dislike feeling restricted, but I wore a uniform for a whole year and the only thing I had to think about was whether I had clean shirts for the next day. I had my shirt and dress hanging on my closet door and every morning the same s*** would be worn, only on a different day. It was niiiiice.

My brain doesn't function well in the morning so I spend at least five minutes in bed wondering what I shall wear and it really is a pain. So ideally I would have some sort of uniform for work, hence why I purchased so many pairs of black slacks (all different in style though), so that in the morning all I have to think about is which top will go with it (and of course they would all match!). I would buy cardigans and v-neck t shirts that would match all match with each other flawlessly so that I could randomly grab an item and it would match!

What do you think? Are you a uniform girl? Could you wear 6 items or less for 30 days?

What I would not wear...

There have been a lot of specific brands and specific lines or specific pieces that have been "in" and just everywhere in the past few years that I have never been into and, while I hesitate to say never (never say never!), I doubt I ever will wear.

Crocs

 To me, crocs are obviously pool wear, but then again that's what I thought about flip flops before I moved to California, but these are just so...hard to match with anything. Not to mention you feel like a little kid in them.

Converse

(image from GosuBlogger) I will never understand the fascination with these. Is it that it's socially acceptable to wear almost anywhere with anything? It is to look young? Is it because you can customize them to your own personality/style? I tried converse style shoes with heels (by Chinese Laundry) for about a year and wound up wearing them maybe a dozen times so I sold them on Ebay.

Maxi Dress ($24.80 at F21)

I might've mentioned this before, but I did almost buy one last summer. I saw the perfect one at a F21, but we weren't exactly shopping (more like browsing with a group of friends) so I didn't have time to try it on and then it was gone (this is what's annoying about F21 sometimes...). Then when I finally got around to trying another one on, it was at Hollister, made from gray jersey, super soft and comfy, but somehow not my style. I think I would wear it if I were the "beach type" and actually planned on going to the beach--but I am sooo not the beach type, I look too reserved to pull it off, and I don't even want to wear sandals and go to the beach, nor do I want long wavy hair (very annoying to me) so I think I shall pass. (Oh and let's not forget the fact that at 5'4" I am not tall enough to wear a maxi dress with flats)

Romper ($14.90 at F210

Um. Even if we ignore the fact that this is what people used to wear as swimming suits, or at least that the style is terribly similar, I cannot ignore the fact that it's very unflattering for my body type. I don't have the shoulder-waist-hip ratio to pull this off and I tried one on by Free People once and I felt two things: 1) like I was a baby wearing overalls, and 2) like it would be a lot of trouble to use the restroom later.

Military Print (credit: Gareth Jones)

...Just can't pull it off. I don't think I look rough enough (or cool enough) for it unless I revamped my whole style...but I don't want to.

Military Boots (credit: Vox)

 Much as with the print, these don't really suit my style.  I have friends who wear them with cool or feminine clothes and seem to be able to pull of a "grunge" style with them, but "grunge" is something I have a hard time passing as natural to me. Maybe if it were just a photo session I could poker face it, but normally I'd just look like Dorothy borrowing some worker's boots. 

Bermuda Shorts ($150 at Neiman Marcus)

 I have not-so-long thick legs and these are just very very unflattering for me.  If I do wear shorts they have to be very short, preferably paired with heels, and if I need cropped pants I wear below the knee ones that admittedly still chop off my legs quite a bit but are more flattering.  

What about you?
I got the idea to write this up from DelanceFashion's "I would rather die than be caught wearing..." thread. It was amusing how many people hate crocs and uggs (I used to hate uggs too T-T). This is not a complete list, just what I could think of over the course of a few days. What would you not wear?

Asking yourself "Is this ME?" and hearing someone else's reply

 My boss commented that I must spend a lot of money buying clothes because everyday I seem to wear something new. This is not true, or maybe it is and we just have different notions of what "a lot of money" and "often" mean. I'm a bargain hunter and I have to be absolutely in love with a piece (and not be able to sleep at night thinking about it) before I will buy something that I find "expensive", only my notion of expensive is not what normal people (I think) would consider expensive. For me any piece of clothing over $20 begs the question: do I really need this? and I don't often let myself ask this question.  Of course what I have learned from yobu is that if I really like something, I might as well just buy it instead of buying all these cheaper items spontaneously that I perhaps do not like as much even put together.  I've learned to put incredible deals back on the rack (most of the time...) and ask myself (and him!) whether the piece is "my style" (whatever that is...). It's like in The Blind Side when she talks about trying something on and looking in the mirror to ask herself "Is this me?" Because if the answer is anything but a straight-out yes then probably you should not walkaway with it (no "maybe" or "could be"). I think with his aid I've already begun transforming my physical outlook and can continue to do so.

I mean one of the things that irritates me about style is that it's not always about what you like, sometimes it's about what you're born with, and this limits my freedom of choice. I know, I know it doesn't have to, and really you can wear whatever you like, but this is what I told myself all my life and at this age is this something I should continue to tell myself? Is it not time to face the reflections of the real world?  I watched this Japanese drama called Real Clothes and in it one of the department store employees working in the fashion section talks about how she has to go to a wedding and even though the type of dress appropriate for wedding guests doesn't suit her (it was something like a strapless knee-length chiffon dress), she doesn't dare deviate from others. The actress who played the part (2nd from the right in above pic) was big boned, she was at least 170cm (hard to tell on TV...) with a 38-40 shoulder width, looking a little bulky, and she was even told by a coworker that she should diet because ideally clothes only look good on you if you have a BMI of 20 or less. Eh, my bad my BMI is like 22 @-@;

...But you know what? I totally get her point. Clothes do look better on you if you have a leaner body, or wider shoulders, thinner/longer legs, and a more narrow waist.  And those attributes are precisely what every model has that I do not.

So what does this mean? I feel so restricted. I feel like I can't wear mini-skirts (but yobo makes me), I can't wear halter tops (my narrow shoulders would be emphasized in a bad way), can't waist-clingers (do I even have a waist?), and I can't wear oversized clothing that look wonderfully drape-y on skinny people and terribly bulky on me.  And there are so many more things that I don't allow myself to wear because I look horrendous in them and nothing like what stylish people look when they wear the same thing.

 Then there are all these other rules regarding what doesn't suit my personality or my face, such as "too cool" outfits (i.e. biker, punk, rock), too lolita outfits (I'm not petite enough), too hipster/hippie/boho, and even too "mature" (for my age, I guess).  Just imagine what it feels like: you go to a department store (or F21 if you prefer) and there are hundreds of different styles of clothing of which a large percentage you probably like looking at. Then imagine a big X on every item that would not suit your body type--a lot less, yes? And then imagine another X for every item that does not suit you or your style, or it is not age appropriate, or work appropriate or just looks more like a costume. How many pieces remain? Not enough.

This is also what bothered me about Real Clothes (drama based on manga), that she goes from this nerdy looking secretary/book keeper look to trying on an assortment of different looks that normally you would think would not correspond with her personality. How does that work at her age? She's 26 in the drama, by the way.

What my point was (I got lost again?) is that when you go to the fitting room, do you only pick clothes you think will suit you? Do you only pick clothes from one style? Do you step out of your comfort zone? And when you're in there, staring at your mirror image, and you ask yourself is this me? Are you really the one answering the question, or is there a voice of reason in your head telling you about why it doesn't suit your body type, why it looks better on other types, why you would never wear it, why it doesn't match with your wardrobe, why you're not the type to wear it, why you should not buy it, etc.? And is it a good thing to own this "voice of reason"? Does owning it mean you can become stylish? does owning it mean that you can look good?

For me, I think yobo is my "voice of reason", I can hear his voice in my head sometimes. But every now and then I wear things I know he doesn't like or approve, because I feel like if I didn't, then maybe I wouldn't be able to ask "Is this me?" anymore. How could I when my opinion doesn't count?

Why do you do it, Woman?!

In response to this prompt on what it means to be a girl (in terms of physical maintenance) and whether your beauty routines have to do with your own philosophy or impressing someone else (i.e. a man).


My morning routine is very simple. I wake up forty minutes before it's time to go, brush my teeth, wash my face, apply my routine cosmetics (can be found on the "about me" page), sometimes straighten my hair, dress, and then drag yobu out of bed so he can drive me. I don't do make up or complicated hairstyles in the morning and at the moment I'm thinking of ways to reduce the amount of time I stand around thinking what am I going to wear?. I just would rather sleep.

I do pluck my eyebrows as regularly as I can remember to, I do try to do my nails on a weekly basis because they break otherwise (I have soft nails), I do my toe nails because I don't like my toes and it helps that they're painted, I shave when I shower, and I use various products for my hair as my hair can be quite problematic (maybe a post on this in the future). I haven't gotten a facial in a while, but I plan on it as soon as I come to more money, so it's not so much that I don't want to as that I can't afford to at the moment.  I'm not interested in manicures or pedicures as much, because I am well aware of the damage I do my nails on a daily basis so unless I suddenly become as rich as Richy Rich it's not likely that I can sustain a manicure.  Therefore any facials, massages, acupuncture...these are all luxuries I want for me and I prefer them over expensive hair cuts (my last hair cut was $4 and I trimmed it myself just the other day) and other beauty treatments.  I think when I'm older and wealthier I can revisit those categories and decide if I want to try them.

As for what I do for yobu...well, the line for what I do for me (and my self-esteem) and what I do to please him can get a little blurry. I think shaving regularly is something I do for him, because when I lived alone I only shaved when my legs would show.  Since I've been with him I've worked harder on improving my skin, and I say that I buy products so that he can use them as well (he's an actor/model so he worries about breakouts too), but really I enjoy the results of using Clarisonic brush on my face, various scrubs, and the zit-zapper thing we got not-so-recently.  Makeup is something I don't think I wear for him so much as I wear for the people around me, either because they all wear make up (and I know they will!) or because of random girls who wear make up (like heavy make up in a club), in an effort to measure up.  Dressing up is something I definitely started doing more because of yobu, I think whenever I had a crush on a guy who I would see I would dress up more for him to notice, so living with a crush means having to dress up more often. It makes me feel more confident, putting effort into what I wear that is, but something like dressing cute instead of "professional" or cool is definitely his influence.  Maybe because my ego is not that big to begin with (code for self-esteem issues) I have a more difficult time figuring out what's for me and what's for others because a large percentage of me feeling good is based on feedback from others (terrible, I know) so if you're happy with me, I'm happy with me.

Surprisingly enough this only applies to my outlook, not so much my character, so I can take you not liking my personality or me for me, but if you hate my hairstyle then I'm going to start questioning it as well.

What about you? What do you do that only girls do and why do you do it?

Edit:  I read that Jessica Simpson has a new reality TV show called The Price of Beauty and I will be following it to comment on it from now on. :D

Do we want "Real Women" on the Runway?

In response to criticism of this article. To summarize, the article quotes designers like Michael Korrs who state that models will remain thin but clothes are being designed for "real women" in double digit sizes. The criticism is on how women do not want to see "normal" sized women on the runway, and that designers are only pretending to be sympathetic.

What do you think? Do we want larger sized models on the runway?

If we go by a national average, I don't want to see "real women" on the runway. The "real" size of women in American is something like 10 or 12 (I think in Drop Dead Diva they said it was 14?!) and no, I don't want to see them on TV or anywhere that's not for plus-size fashion. And why should I? Clothes obviously look different on them than on me (I'm a size 4 or 6 depending on my brand or mood), and the argument is that clothes also look different on a size 0 than on someone my size.

The issue is therefore not one of practicality, but a psychological one: I see a thin, beautiful model wearing something trendy and hot and I think I want to look like that!. Whether it fits me well or not is entirely besides the point, because many women choose to diet in order to look as good as a model.  So the criticism is correct, it's not about the designers choosing anorexic models (didn't Lagerfeld decide on 18 BMI min for all models?), it's about our psychological makeover and how good we think they look.

And think about! If we had size 4 models we would need size 6 models! Then we would need size 8 models, etc. We would need apple-shaped models and pear-shaped models and flat models and curvy models, etc.! We would need models of every ethnicity and of varying heights! We cannot please everyone.

So while I do think that I could live with size 2-4 models as long as they are well-proportioned (kind of like how Victoria's Secret models tend to have normal sized ribcage widths and hips) and are not any extreme, but I can understand the designer's point that models are just moving hangers. I think this is appropriate when designers take their view seriously, for example, have you seen ugly models on runways? I have. I have seen the ugliest make up on them and the reasoning was that they don't want models to look like real people or that they don't want people to miss the clothing and focus on the model's beauty. This makes sense. I think if all designers incorporated this and focused less on the beauty of a model and more on the "hanger" aspect then all is good.

What do you think?